21 March 2025 | By Cordelia Thistle, BBC World Affairs Correspondent
In a surprise announcement from the White House Rose Garden this morning, President Donald J. Trump declared that the United States will officially seek membership in the Commonwealth of Nations, calling it “a tremendous deal — maybe the best deal since the Louisiana Purchase.”
Flanked by two Union Jacks and a portrait of Winston Churchill, President Trump praised the Commonwealth as “a classy, global club — very elite, very exclusive, and frankly, they’re lucky to have us.”
“Nobody does Commonwealths like we do Commonwealths,” he added. “We’re bringing back winning — and tea. I like tea now. Tremendous stuff.”
Historic About-Turn
The announcement marks a seismic shift in U.S. foreign policy, coming nearly 250 years after the American colonies famously declared independence from British rule.
When asked about that historical detail, President Trump responded:
“We had a little disagreement, a long time ago. Bit of a misunderstanding, really. I’m told it involved boats and taxes. Very unfair taxes. But we’re past that now. We’ve moved on. We forgive.”
White House Press Secretary Tiffany Stone later confirmed the move was “symbolic,” adding that the U.S. has no intention of changing its form of government — “except maybe replacing Congress with a more efficient royal family model.”
Royal Reaction
Buckingham Palace issued a cautiously diplomatic statement:
“His Majesty King Charles III welcomes the United States’ interest in the Commonwealth of Nations and looks forward to further discussions, ideally over tea and without Twitter.”
Unofficial palace sources say the King was overheard murmuring, “Is this… is this real?” before retreating to his greenhouse for stress gardening.
New Rules for the U.S.
As part of the preliminary membership agreement, the U.S. has agreed to:
• Compete in the next Commonwealth Games, entering teams in rodeo, monster trucks, and hot dog eating
• Adopt the phrase “God Save the King” at official ceremonies, though President Trump insists on adding, “…and God Bless Me, too”
• Stop referring to football as “soccer” at international summits (implementation pending)
• Consider switching to the metric system “if it polls well”
Domestic Reaction
Reaction in the U.S. has been mixed. Supporters of the President praised the move as “visionary” and “great for tourism,” while critics described it as “the diplomatic equivalent of texting your ex after two and a half centuries.”
Senator Elizabeth Warren tweeted:
“So we’re undoing the American Revolution now? Cool, what’s next — inviting King George to Thanksgiving?”
Meanwhile, Florida declared itself “already the most Commonwealth-ready state,” citing its strong tea consumption and love of ceremony.
International Response
Reactions from current Commonwealth nations ranged from bemused to baffled.
Australia’s Prime Minister said, “Sure. Why not?”
Canada offered a cautious welcome, asking only that the U.S. “please behave.”
India’s Foreign Minister reportedly stared at the announcement for three minutes before saying, “This feels like a prank.”
Moving Forward
The White House is reportedly planning a “Trump Meets the Commonwealth” World Tour, with stops at Balmoral, the Sydney Opera House, and an awkward cricket match in Nairobi.
President Trump concluded his speech by stating:
“It’s going to be big. Bigger than Brexit. Maybe we’ll call it… Amerientry. You’re welcome.”
More on this story tonight on BBC One: “From Tea Party to Tea Time – America’s Commonwealth Comeback,” with Emily Maitlis.
Comments